Love, bubs and life on our little farm

Tomorrow is our 20 week scan and we are hoping to find out the sex! I am so excited - I am happy either way but I just love finding out. Lots of critical people comment that its "ruining the surprise" but it IS a surprise - you just get the surprise on a different day to the amazing huge day that you get a baby popping out of your hoo-ha!

I loved finding out Elka's gender at 20 weeks- I really bonded with her knowing she was my baby girl. And it made shopping and doing her nursery so much more fun (I was already sick of white and lemon clothes!).

This time round I hope bub obliges in letting us find out as I am super stressed that we have NO clue for a girls name. If its a boy... well then there goes my stress, as our boys name is all picked and we love it. If its a girl... well then I can start trawling name websites and books and go back to driving my husband mad throwing names at him every waking minute!

I will be sharing the scan results on here so stay tuned!

Well my hubby has impeccable timing! Feeling a little down from my Dad's news, I come home from a looong day at work to find a package sitting at my front door addressed to me. And.... my lovely hubby has splurged on some Hot Milk lingerie for me! I love their range - its the sexiest most feminine maternity lingerie around.

This is the gorgeous bra set I got (but of course it looks SO much better on me hehe lol)


And this photo doesn't do the gorgeous nightie justice - it is just so beautiful (and so comfy!).
Funnily enough that dark maroon colour is exactly the colour of our bedroom and striped doona cover, so when wearing it I feel very glamorous matching our bedroom hehe

Its always nice to be spoilt and my lovely hubby does it so well.

Just had a call from my mum - its been a while since I have been on the receiving end of some bad family news but here it was.

My dad has been diagnosed with a melanoma on his back - he didn't hear what stage it was thanks to the phone crackling (he thinks it was 1 or 2) We are all hoping for 1 of course. He has to go in to have a big hunk of his back cut out next week and then they will know more.

Its not terrible news yet but its enough to scare us all of course. So I am desperately thinking positive thoughts and crossing my fingers that its been picked up nice and early. Losing Jase's uncle to melanoma a few years ago and an old school friend about 10 years ago does not leave me with the greatest feeling of course.

Its going to be a painful wait for next week for all of us :(

So I caved on the weekend and bought some maternity clothes - the bump is getting harder and harder to accomodate. Last time I wasn't this big, this early so I managed to squeeze through the Summer in my own clothes. But its just not happening this time...

So I may have been going to the beach but managed to hit one of my favorite shopping factory outlets on the way home and discovered that Pumpkin Patch was having a maternity clothes sale (yes I still find their clothes mumsy lol) but I did manage to pick through and find two tops that were reasonable and were marked at the bargain prices of $8 and $12....



I also indulged in a lovely soft new maxidress in a vain attempt to still buy "normal clothes"


I am pretty good for dressy casual clothes and work clothes and I just slob around the farm anyway (who cares if my shorts aren't done up). But I am stumped for what to wear in a few weeks to a work trip to Australia Zoo - my current students are presenting their research so I need to be well dressed but we are also getting a behind the scenes tour of the hospital, zoo and animal facilities so I don't want to be too dressy. Throw in the fact that most of my suitable clothes are not fitting and its a puzzle I am yet to solve. Gosh if that is my hardest decision this week then I think I am doing OK really!

So my Thursdays are funny things - I have come from three full days of work; not only is there the hecticness of my job but Elka and I leave the house at 7am and don't get home again until 5.30pm, then there are animals to be feed, dinner to cooked and daycare food to be packed for the next day. So needless to say I have very little time to do anything.

So then on Thursdays I am still on a bit of an adrenalin high but then I get up and realise that I don;t have to rush Elka through breakfast. Although I normally have a horse appointment or something booked in for the early morning, so no sleep in for me! But generally I can slow down and focus on being a mummy rather than a busy scientist. It takes me a few hours, so I fill the morning with my busy things and then unwind as I go...

We do the groceries (chaos now that Elka insists that she gets to walk and help push the trolley), run errands to the post office etc and finish with a fun shop in our green grocer where Elka delights the shop ladies and has a great time collecting all the fresh fruit and veg in her mini-trolley. We unpack and sort everything out, much to the delight of our magpies and chickens as they get all the old stuff out of the fridge (I often have two keen horses hanging over the back fence too hoping to score old bread etc). And I start the endless loads of clothes washing..

I make phone calls etc that need to be done. Then when Elka has her midday sleep, I run around like a mad woman straightening the house from 3 days of neglect, hang out loads of washing, I set up some tv shows on my laptop and chip away at the overflowing ironing basket and invariably spend too long working and miss my chance to have a peaceful lunch whilst Elka is still asleep!

Then the pace slows, Elka and I play, do some art and play dough and we generally cook something for her to munch on over the weekend. She loves to cook with me, she calls it "mummy cook-cook" and she will drag one of our foot stools into the kitchen so she can stand next to me at the bench. Its a lovely part of the day and it helps me catch my breath and start to relax into my non-career days (I won't call them non-work days, every mum knows having little ones at home deserves the title of work!).

Today we cooked Rock Cakes. Simple and fun and quite healthy, so little butter in them, Elka loves sultanas and I use raw sugar as I like the less-refined nature of the sugar for toddlers.

Time is flying - almost halfway! I am feeling pretty good really - just nausea in the mornings now. Very tired by the end of the day and my feet just ACHE.. other than that just my sciatic nerves playing up - I am trying to make a chiro appointment to get that seen to. But otherwise, am soaking up the second trimester "easiness" as much as I can. Trying to get as much done as I can at work as its so much time on your feet in the lab, which gets harder later on...

I have been getting Braxton hicks for quite awhile now but I am really noticing how much stronger they getting now. I am also feeling bubs kicking now - its not light movements anymore, they are true thumps. Not only that but Jase can feel the kicks from the outside - I love that!

Second pregnancies are interesting - I am so much more relaxed and cruisy about my body changes (hehe besides the weight freak out in my previous post) and its fun just letting the changes develop. First time round, I was so tuned in to every little developmental milestone. This time I have my suspicions that I will all of a sudden be 36 weeks!

I am definitely getting a bigger baby bump much faster than last time - no real surprise since all the muscles have stretched before. Last time was so painful - I had horrible tight stretching pains all the time as my nearly six-pack from horseriding stretched out. Its actually a relief to not be experiencing that this time (although slightly depressing that clearly my tummy muscles aint what they used to be hehe).

But all in all - its a good couple of weeks to be pregnant :)

OK another confession!

I finally dared to step on the scales yesterday - ARRRGHH!!! I have gone from 57kgs to 63kgs in 18.5 weeks! 6kgs already! I had only put 9-10kgs on by the end of Elka's pregnancy, seems I am well on the way to beating that...

So had a little freak out - then tried to console myself that my tummy is much bigger much earlier this time (so hopefully heavier lol!) and that I am still fitting all my clothes everywhere but my waist (what waist these days!).

Admittedly, I have found the 24 hour nausea even harder this time round and the constant need to care for a toddler means I get light headed if I don't eat, so I think I have been indulging in more calories this time. But after the Christmas/Holidays indulgences and endless eating out, its time to get healthy.

The fridge is stocked with fruit and my work lunches now only include fruit and chopped vegies as snacks but just don't ask me to give up my Hot Chocolates ;)

I am not normally too hard on myself - oh I feel plenty of Mummy guilt but I tend to push it away a fair bit cause I am more realistic than that. As long as you try and keep trying and love your child and show them that, then well.. really you are an OK Mummy in my books.

So yeah - I am well aware that my toddler ate hot chips for dinner last night and for lunch today (my Mummy guilt wants to point out that she also ate steamed corn on the cob and other vegies lol). But really in the bigger scheme I am just happy she ate something.

But today I had a spectacular fail.

We were playing at the beach with some friends and their kids. I wandered into the water where Jase and Elka were splashing around. Elka always tends to cling to me so despite me saying to Jase that I had just realised I was still wearing my non-waterproof watch, I somehow ended up holding her hands and playing with her whilst Jase enjoyed bobbing in the water. Now normally he would "tag" me by saying something like "you mind her while I have a swim"... but we didn't really say anything. Elka was running around in the shallows beside us both when I noticed a man lingering far up the beach at our stuff - which included my full handbag and all of our keys, wallets and phones. Jase must have noticed him too as he commented and I said "I'll go back up there and make sure everything is OK". And I start walking out of the water - in that instant I was truly distracted and was not watching Elka or making sure that Jase had fully taken over from me. I had my back to Elka. I turned and looked back to see that Elka had fallen forwards in the water and it was too deep for her to push herself back up onto her feet as she still uses her hands. So my little bub was desperately trying to keep her head above water.

Worst. Image. Ever.

Of course Jase was over to her in an instant - it was all a matter of seconds. She didn't even get her mouth wet or cough or splutter - she did such a good job at keeping her head up. But it did scare her and she needed Mummy hugs for a few minutes.

And it sure scared me -big time. Everyone says how fast these things can happen but wow once you experience it, you really really understand.

But it was a good wake up call - we play at the beach alot and we probably are too blase with Elka's abilities. I am so proud of her being able to keep herself safe in that instant - but she should never have had to. Its certainly made Jase and I discuss our communication strategies for when we are both caring for her (and hence both think the other one is the responsible one at the time!)

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, it hasnt put Elka off the water at all - 5 minutes later she was dragging me back in deeper than she could touch. Yet another reminder that she needs very careful watching.

Urrgh I am trying to learn from this. But right now I just feel dreadful.

Definitely a Bad Mummy moment for me.

I haven't had much time to stop and reflect - I can't believe that tomorrow is New Years Eve! So I trying to take 10 minutes now. We are hosting a quiet BBQ for some friends - I have no plans to make it anywhere near midnight at this point lol.

I am not listing any New Years Resolutions in my blog - I gave that away a few years ago. I like to reflect on my lifestyle and character quite often anyway and often apply redirection throughout the year, so there is nothing standout that needs particular attention or an "official" resolution. (I would try to stop eating chocolate but that is just one of my pregnancy symptoms so who am I to try and resist it lol).

This year Elka has gone from a 6 month old baby who had just starting crawling to an 18 month old toddler that speaks in sentences and understands just about everything. Its a big change when you reflect on it! We had a great time celebrating her first birthday with a polka dot themed party.

I finished my 7 month stint as a stay at home mum and went back to work 2 days a week, which I then upped to 3 days a week as I just couldn't achieve enough. I love balancing care for Elka with work - work is such a pleasure with the mental challenge and "me time". Elka has come to adore daycare also - she is currently on holidays with me and is constantly asking me about her daycare friends lol. I think people think I am mad but I have discovered that I just can't not work - its just too much a part of me (and I get lonely and stir crazy on a farm by myself!)

I got a fantastic promotion at work - Jase got awarded another level too. We are very appreciative of our wonderful careers and where we are. Especially in a year when things were tight for a lot of people.

We started organising our house extensions - including numerous visits to display homes and pouring over our draftmans sketches. We got a very pleasing valuation from our bank so we are ready to start. Plans go to council in January and I am getting very excited for our new entertainment deck and extra rooms. Decorating will be a new challenge for next year.

I also found out I was pregnant and expecting our second baby in September. Its been a rough couple of months of 24 hour sickness but I am through the other side of the worst of that now (hopefully). Which gives me plenty of time to stress about having two little ones and the labour of course ;)

I had a good season of horse competitions - Spech and I concentrated on a lot of showjumping and cross country and he conquered alot of his nerves and even placed in a tricky open showjumping competition. I was sorry to have to put him back in the paddock once I found I was pregnant. I am hoping to make one or two competitions next year whilst recovering from giving birth and juggling the newborn and Elka - needless to say I don't have any big goals for Spech and I!

We spent a lot of time on improving and maintaining our property. We paved our laundry courtyard which looks fantastic and has proven to be worth its cost and pain many times over. We finished retaining walls, completed drainage, put in new gardens and irrigation and have started new paths with both pavers and concrete set cobblestones. We have had a lot of rain this year and the paddocks are full of grass currently, we even made it through this year with spare hay - its been a good year in that regards.

We did lose our dear little chook Bertie at the grand age of 5. She went to sleep one night and didn't wake up - a lovely gentle way to slip away for such an amazing boof of a character.

Jase and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary (with a baby in tow who refused to stay asleep in the restaurant and provided great laughs for the neighbouring tables) and actually managed a few romantic weekends away to both Brisbane and Sydney by ourselves. We have laughed, loved and bickered our way through our 9th year of being together. He is certainly showing the patience that I love so much in him with me being a whinging mess of a pregnant woman.

We have shared happy and sad news with a lot of friends and family. I feel blessed that my near family have all been in good health and reasonable spirits.

It's been a good year - I am a lucky person as I can generally always say this at the end of my yearly reflections. I am a little shocked that it will be 2010 next - the last decade has truly flown but in the most wonderful, exciting ways.

This next year will bring a new baby and the completion of our little family, the changes to our house to make it our "dream" layout, a romantic holiday away for Jase and I for our 5th wedding anniversary (already booked) and more hard work for both of us. I also hope that it brings a lot of joy, achievement and laughs.. if your path behind is any indication of your path ahead then I am sure that it will.

Happy New Year!!

I throughly enjoyed staying with my parents and I know Elka loved it - what 18 month old toddler doesn't like endless adoration and attention!

We cooked Christmas cookies, chocolate crackles, decorated Christmas fruit cakes and did all manner of festive things. Elka developed a strong obsession with Santa - he was mentioned all day everyday, we had to visit him numerous times and all Christmas decorations and songs were accompanied with her bright little voice yelling "SANTA!!".

Well Santa lived up to his golden status by delivering her a see-saw and new textas etc. She then went onto to be very spoiled with our under the tree presents including a barbie lap-top (HUGE success - she loves it and has learnt letters since using it!), toy moving horse and a newborn doll.



I also got very spoilt with my lovely hubby saving my best pressie till the very end - handing me a little box in which I unwrapped a gorgeous diamond necklace! When he explained the significance of what he had chosen I was even more touched. It is two concentric diamond circles and he said it represented me being pregnant and carrying our children. Awww. Not only that but its beautiful and sparkly ;) Big brownie points to Jase.

The day finished with way too much eating of our traditional hot lunch (turkey, lamb roast and ham followed by a devine Strawberry Hazelnut Gateau - very excessive!)

We decided to head home to check on the farm and to make sure the heavy cyclonic low rains hadn't done too much damage. Then enjoying the freedom of holidays with no plans, we hit the boxing day sales (oh yes I got some bargains including a new Seafolly bikini, Napoleon make-up, a silk caftan from Bardot and some boring but useful maternity tank tops from Kmart) and stayed at our beach house enjoying the cosy rain and a delicious dinner out at our favorite resort.

Yep its been a good festive season so far.

Being pregnant and with a toddler, needless to say we have minimal plans for New Years Eve but I am looking froward to the week of holidays we still have left with very little besides catch-ups with friends planned.

Feeling like crap - got one hell of a summer head cold. Being pregnant means nothing stronger than panadol and even that I dont like taking much of.

So I used retail therapy -went shopping for xmas groceries and instead hit the Crossroads 50% off entire store sale. They are a random store - a little nanna, a little Fashion Fair-esque but recently have had some cute dresses that are pregancy friendly.

So I bought a skirt that I am actually using as a strapless dress - its pretty cute in real life. This photo doesnt do the colours justice.

And yes it did make me feel better for half an hour or so... or at least distracted me from wanting to die ;)

Seems I am going to wear out all my spending on the pre-xmas sales rather than the Boxing Day/End of Year sales. I am so very weak in the face of clothing discounts!

Just in case you wanted a little something for yourself for Christmas (hey we all need something pretty to wear on the day!), check out Portmans special for 40% off everything in store with their voucher off the web. Deal is on until Tuesday.

I couldnt resist and made a special trip in to use the voucher on a gorgeous silk singlet with tie-dying and dip dying detail. Too pretty to not buy at 40% off!

I had gone off Portmans clothes but recently I have to say that their fabrics and patterns have been really pretty.

Having a baby is a beautiful amazing thing that just blows my mind.

But.... its sometimes just designed to be an exercise in tolerance and in testing your pain threshold. Honestly at times, it can be like 8 months of a very subtle water torture.

So "most" of my nausea has passed now at 16 weeks, so instead I have jumped into some of the later pregnancy joys. The "sleep training" - the hormones that give you pregnancy insominia, you drag your tired butt around all day just dreaming of bed and then when you fall into bed, bing can't get comfy and fall asleep. Not to mention the 5am wide awakes.. For me this is all amplified by my lower back pain - another pregnancy symptom I score.

Add to that the numerous night toilet trips to pee and the vivid pregnancy induced dreams that make me toss and turn most of the night and you have broken sleep long before the little newborn is on the outside demanding midnight and 4am feeds.

Last night I dreamt about Elka swimming and drowning in a farm dam, I was so desperately trying to save her in my dream, that I threw myself sideways out of bed and woke with such a hammering heart, that my chest was actually hurting. Needless to say it took an hour of tv watching at 1am to calm myself enough to sleep again (oh and of course a creep into her bedroom to see her sleeping little shape).

To finish it off - I have started getting my leg cramps too - excruciating cramps that snap into my calves whilst I am asleep. I suffered them all last second and third trimester despite whatever supplements I took and advice I listened too. And it seems I will be again.

Oh yes - starting to feel very pregnant now!

But the part that makes it ALL worth it? I can really feel bub strongly in the last few days - thumps, pokes and kicks and I have even felt them from the outside with my hand. And that is just the most amazing thing feeling a little being in there!

Random choice of date for an update but I have a 15 week belly pic so I thought I better do an update.

Tummy seems to have popped - not fitting a lot of clothes now and I am wearing most shorts etc below my bump. A bit of back ache and some sciatic nerve pain but other than that feeling pretty strong and fit. Although my feet just ache and ache by the end of the day, would help if I had a job where I sat down for some of the day!

Had an obs appt this morning, heard the heartbeat which is always nice.

Most notable is that I am finally feeling much better! Only mild nausea mainly if I don't eat. Its good to feel almost human again. Hurrah for the second trimester! Although poor old Jase has been on the receiving end of a few hormonal outbursts...

This is really the best stage of pregnancy - you feel less sick and tired and you are still mobile and relatively agile. I am feeling bubby when I sit down and relax (which only happens at about 8.30pm) - little thumps and knocks. So cute.

On the countdown now until our 19-20 week scan where we find out the sex! Exciting! I feel like we are having another girl...

We have been keen to pimp our entry path. We inherited a pretty pathetic set of stepping stones which have always been awkward to use and not so impressive to look at.

With our extensions to start in the New Year (sometime!) we wanted to ensure that our front door is still obvious, as the extension will protrude from one side of the house, making our front garden almost a courtyard and it would be good to direct the eye towards our entry.

We bought the same pavers that we recently paved our laundry courtyard with - they are beautiful and a really soft colour that matches the house trim. And we bought the same trimming blocks in dark charcoal. I am not usually a matchy matchy person but the two areas are on different sides of the house and I think it offers some continuity in theme...

And so in the stinking heat and heavy humidity (paving in Summer is always the best time lol), poor old Jase slaved away, whilst I supervised (site foreman) and Elka enjoyed her toddler pool in the shade of the verandah (tough life of the toddler). But my impressive hubby knocked over the whole job in the one morning!

And so here are the before and afters.






Hello lovely new path!




I am a happy home owner - although poor Jase has to move onto the next area of paving - our new garden/steps area. More photos to come!