So I left home at 3am, June 2nd to catch my plane to the US for this work trip. When I snuck into my girls rooms to whisper goodbye to their angelic sleeping faces and stroke their warm soft hair one last time, I also silently wished my little Bronte a Happy Birthday.

As luck would have it, I had been booked to fly out on her birthday and so early I didn't get to spend any of it with her. I am sure I was sadder about it than she was, since it just meant she got two days of cake and fun, celebrating early with me and then Jase and Elka threw her a little celebration on her bday day.

So now I am trying to come to terms with the fact that the little cutie that is singing me twinkle twinkle over Skype is actually a two year old. Wow. But I think she will always be my baby, just like Elka will always be my special little first born.

My big girl

Unwrapping her helmet and bell for her big girl bike

She knew you had to blow but she was a bit keen and we hadn't had a chance to put the candles on yet!

Time for the real candle blowing out

Her bday "party" with Jase and Elka

Absolutely everybody comments on just how happy she is all the time. She is most definitely a little happy character with a devilish grin that no one can resist.

Happy Birthday my little one - can't wait to hug you as a 2 year old xo

Wow, one minute it was 3.30am and I was blearily packing the last few things in my bag (which I did a terrible job of - I forgot HEAPS!) and then it was a blur of 32 hours, five airports, four planes, airport lounges, rushed ticketing for boarding passes, a long desperate run for a plane changeover of only 10 minutes and more pat downs and security checks then I care to remember. And I found myself in Virginia, US.

In a lovely hotel room actually. In a gorgeous area full of cobblestone lanes,old fashioned street lamps, canals and old flour mills converted into apartments and restaurants.

But after only 3 hours plane sleep in 32 hours of travel - boy did I sleep deeply for 9 hours straight in the plump bed. I don't think I moved at all - probably also a left over habit from trying to sleep in a plane seat without bothering my neighbours...

This is my first time in the US and I am loving that it is all the cliches I expected - all fire hydrants, big yank tanks and copious amounts of inventive junk food - corn chips inside a cheese burrito anyone?!

I have also found that they are struggling to understand me with my accent, that I loathe sale tax preventing me from working out exact change to pay for things and that tipping is irritating. That LA was grey and ugly when I arrived but I saw a celebrity within 10mins of landing (OK so it was an Aus celebrity lol - Curtis Stone but still!), that they know how to build pretty homes in the country areas and that they are terrible at giving receipts which is going to make my work expense claim back a nightmare.

I went jogging this morning and loved the beautiful canal walks where the old buildings are being done up and where the city is embracing its creative art reputation with street art everywhere.

The canal walk

Some of the street art scattered amongst the old architecture

Then I hit the shops. It wasn't easy to get to them actually - it took two very expensive taxi rides as they are so far out of the CBD and had non-existent public transport (thanks to my personal taxi driver Ed, who drive back out 2.5 hours later to bring me back to the hotel, such a country sweetie!). And they don't open until midday on a Sunday - weird. But oh how I enjoyed them. Particularly as I left all my work pants at home and needed a full five days of work clothes for my workshop - good work me. I scored lovely work pants and a thicker cardigan (who told me it was 28 degrees here! Its not my version of Qld humid 28 degrees, brr! ) from Banana Republic, some great presents for the kids, a belt style I have been looking for in the shops for over 3 months now and then.... spoiled myself with the prettiest Michael Kors bag.

They do shopping centres, sorry "malls" well here - too pretty to walk fast through!

Oh Macy's - I am in love - and thanks to Mum for telling me to push for discounting!

My one little treat (well besides some duty free make-up, but that is practically a requirement!))

OK no more shopping - I have welcome drinks in 1 hours time for the course and then it is all work and no-play for the rest of the week until my free day in LA on the way home next Sunday..

I don't love too much spontaneity. My life is hectic and I roll from one thing to another but I like having it all timetabled and written into my diary.

So thanks to the chaos that is my work at the moment (aahh nothing like a change of gov to throw the cat among the pigeons), I got one weeks warning that my work trip to the US is a goer. So now I have 7 days to prepare for 11 days away - I am desperately sorting clothes, power plugs and organising maps and airport links. And trying to ignore the pangs of guilt - flying out on the morning of Bronte's second birthday, not even having time to have a cake with her pang, leaving the girls for the longest time I have ever left them pang, knowing how hard, tiring and lonely it is going to be for Jase pang. The girls were with the babysitter last night as Jase and I both had work functions to be at and I felt rotten that they went to bed without seeing me all day with only 7 days of trying to give them maximum love and cuddles pang.

Uurggh. Having a career and being a Mum - a minefield of emotional guilt trips.

Must really concentrate on the whole pro list. All expenses paid trip to two beautiful US cities to achieve one of my career goals I set a few years ago and was never sure I would get to ever tick off, not to mention the little bit of free time to explore and sightsee.

This is actually my third international trip paid for by work/study funding. I do feel very lucky. Though it is going to take over 24 hours and three flights, four airports to get me there - I am guessing that travelling sans children will feel so easy that I won't be too fussed lol

This is one of my hotels.


I have plans for shopping - a new handbag is on my list, and of course duty free scotch for the ever patient husband!

If I had a dollar for everytime someone said to me, "I don't know how you do it", well.... I would be buying myself a coffee every second day of the week.
 Normally, I internally shrug and think "what is there to 'do'? It's just life" But I am feeling a little worn out this weekend, like I haven't got much left and I have had those flashes of how/why do I do it.....

Bronte has been sick and Hubby and I had to tag team days off work to look after her. The list of things to to-do at home and at work has never felt longer - we spend hours a night working on work we have brought home from our jobs, the girls birthdays are 2 and 4 weeks away and so is their party. Elka's school is constantly demanding us to attend "parent events" during work hours that we struggle to find time to get to. I am possibly flying to the US for a work trip in 1.5 weeks time but am still yet to have the trip confirmed and flights booked, so I can't plan for me to be away properly. I have more work conferences than I care to think about in the next few months and they always manage to clash with Hubby's work events, so that involves organising our babysitter. I am supervising two Masters students (why did I agree to take two!) who need full time support and work reviewed. I have my second job lecturing at uni to squeeze in, preparing exam questions and marking assignments. I am trying to get my horse trained and up to competition standard, we are organising the major earth works to put a new arena in for me, building metres and metres of retaining walls for the new house extension area, we have huge gardens to care for and the paddocks and fences all need work. Hubby is trying to get fit and enter some marathons so he needs time to go for runs. The girls want to play with friends, do dance lessons and so on and we need to get them back into swimming lessons, let alone make time to see our friends. There are just not enough hours in the weekends for all of this.

There are not enough hours in the weekdays for that matter! In the evening, by the time we have arrived home, fed all the farm animals, the kids, played with them and put them to bed, prepared lunches for the next day, cooked dinner for the next night (since we get home late), done some work on our laptops, hit the gym weights and exercise bike and fallen into bed, it is 11.30pm and we finally get to chat and catch up.... to the loss of sleep. The kids have taken to waking us in the night to tuck them back in and then the alarm is unrelenting at 5.30am the next morning.

Recently, I have found myself wondering if life would be easier if we lived in a city suburban house with a tiny backyard that takes just 20 minutes to mow, that is only 10 minutes from shopping centres, the kids schools and not a monster commute to work. No farm animals to feed and rug, no fences to repair, no farriers to schedule, no bankrupting yourself to just buy the timber for one tiny piece of landscaping, no mud, no cleaning gutters to ensure your water tanks are clean for drinking, no watching the weather to worry about rain - just existing and "easy".

And then I get out of the car after my big commute and look out at the sun streaming through the gum trees, watch the girls delight in the joey jumping alongside the mother kangaroo up our driveway, hear the koalas grunting in the trees above the house, see my beautiful horses watching me expectingly and the ducks come waddling up from the dam, and laugh at the girls throwing on their gumboots and racing around the gardens or feeding the chickens.

And I wonder that "easy" might also feel a little empty in comparison.

This quote sums up what keeps me going...




And today - as busy as we were, we took the time to laugh at this idiot. My silly horse who is determined to annoy Hubby (having kicked him in the ribs last week) pulled up a plumbed in irrigation tap today and then was reluctant to hand it over. Life is never boring!

Not a sponsored post ( but would happily do one Revlon! Hehe).

 I am a lip gloss wearer from way back. I have happily worn my MAC lip glosses for years. Mainly because lip gloss is so easy, it goes on lightly and your lips feel great. I would always try to like lipstick but it would dry my lips or wear off unevenly and I would need to be near a mirror to keep checking it was not looking weird (uurgh when it wears off on the inside of your lips and not the outside - shudder!)

 But all of a sudden, I am wearing lipstick, lovely intense colours and they last - thank you Revlon ColourBurst Lip Butters. It is like lipstick and lip gloss had a baby - soft and easy to put on, shiny and wears off gently. No lip staining, wearing and bleeding. (Yes I sound like an ad but am really just so pleased!) I even put their bright red colour (Candy Apple - cute name!) on without a mirror and feel confident that it is all good. I love the boost of wearing red lipstick!

They are $22 each at Priceline but I snapped some up in the last buy one, get one free sale - bargain! This one below is Pink Truffle - I wear this nearly every day when I am not feeling boom-boom enough to pull of my cherry red lips.

 When was the last time you wore lipstick?

I am a big fan of the Bloggess. If you have never read her blog - do yourself a favour and read this post at the very least. And this one.


She makes me smile at the end of long tiring day. I have been impatiently waiting for her novel to be released and it has finally arrived. And it is good. I am torn between reading it slowly to make it last and devouring it as fast as possible. I think hubby wants me to go the fast option as he is waiting to read it after me.

well not really but I finally bowed to fashion pressure and bought a pair of coloured denim jeans. I am still unsure about them, they just smack of the mid 90s to me (or was I the only one getting around in coloured denim then? I wasn't well known for my style back then so I could have been), so I just grabbed a cheap pair from Cotton On ($40 too easy).








They fit snugly (for now) and I love the dark plum colour - I have a heap of cream, grey and black tops that are I am looking forward to wearing with them. I got a great zebra print scarf from Witchery in plums, creams and blacks which will get quite a run with these jeans, I think. Likewise, I have bought a cute pair of low motorcycle style ankle boots and they are great with skinny jeans.

I think I am selling this look to myself hehe.

Has anyone else embraced the coloured denim? Anyone brave enough to do the bright reds or blues?

A big thank you to all the lovely comments and well wishes from people about my loss of my best mate. I have been so busy and worn out and so flat and not feeling like blogging, hence the quiet. But I am starting to feel a little more motivated, although still time poor. I have had this post open for about 4 days trying to find time to write it. And a rainy Sunday afternoon, where we are all resting after an exhausting weekend of farm chores, seems pretty perfect.



I haven't updated on my little ones for a long time. Life is a blur and I do forget what they were like as they grown and change - my updates on my girls are my favourite posts to revist. Would you believe that Elka is 2 months away from turning 4 and Bronte is 2 months from turning 2? That time has flown.

They are great fun at this age though - they play together and boss each other around. I end up referring a lot of fights and tiffs over who owns which doll or so on, but at the same time, watching them hoik on their dress up handbags, shove a mobile phone to their ears each and wander off down the driveway pushing their doll strollers together is just the best.

Miss B is a social butterfly now, so far from the clingy little bub she was. If I had a dollar for EVERY person who says to me on a daily basis "Oh she is just so happy!" as she grins her crazy big smile at every stranger who gives her eye contact, I would have lots of spending money. I never get eye contact from shop assistants anymore as Bronte immediately engages them - its actually getting a little tiresome!
She has no fear or separation anxiety. Great for dropping her off to daycare, terrible in that she is a runner at shops - she will run away and not give two hoots that I can't find her. I often just stand at the doorway of larger shops and wait there so that I am confident she hasn't left the shop, as she is so hard to chase down. Needless to say, she gets strapped into the stroller a lot!
Her language has finally taken off, to my relief. She sees her speech pathologist who is happy with her development but she has been on the slow side of speaking. But she is now repeating most words back to us and she is quite clear with a lot of words and stringing words together. She is quite lazy with language as Elka tends to speak for her (typical second child syndrome!)
She leaves her hearing aids in most of the time. Although she can randomly pull one out and just drop it - we have lost one just recently this way.
She is very coordinated - spends most of her time outside playing. She can jump really well on the trampoline - both feet way off the mat, landing neatly. She even jumps up with her legs straight out and lands on her bum and jumps up again.
She adores music and songs. She will dance wildly anytime she hears any tune at all and loves singing Wheels On the Bus. She loves dancing to the Wiggles.
She is also a big bossy boots - at daycare if the teacher says Sit down, then she runs around repeating it at every kid who hasn't immediately sat down. She also checks everyone else's nappies.
She has learnt to do thumbs ups and if you ask if something was good, you get thumbs up from her, which is adorable!
Quite the little character, and with her strawberry blonde hair, pale skin and a sprinkle of gold freckles across her nose, terribly cute.


Elka is shining at school. She is getting very mature and helpful. She is a great little companion as she chatters away and has a wicked sense of humour. She doesn't miss a trick and takes advantage of any chance to get ahead. She had a handful of crunchy noodles the other day as a treat and was told "Only one handful", well she comes back to me and says all innocent big blue eyes "Bronte would like me to take her a handful". I say "No you will just eat them and I said no more for you". To which she denied it looking all injured. So I re neg and give her a handful. As soon as I do, her face lights up with a pleased grin and she says "Bronte will share with me!" as she races off to "share" with Bronte (who always does share, as Elka had counted on).
If i had any doubts about sending Elka to school early, then they would have been scrapped the other day when the teacher informed me that Elka was one of only three students that had progressed so well in her reading that she needed to go up a level of reader and we had to go into the back room to get special homework for her from now on. Since she is the youngest in her class, that was pretty impressive. She adores writing and reading , sport and drama - the intense curriculum really suits her. I am so pleased we made the decision we did.

The girls are just such a pleasure to care for - they play together for hours and I love how they communicate what they want. I marvel at how other people love babies and mourn their kids getting older. I LOVE them not being babies. I don't miss those baby stages at all.


We have taken the plunge and interviewed a babysitter. Our nearest family is over two hours away and we just don't get much help with juggling our out of work hours career commitments. The military precision that we have to compare our diaries and negotiate for each night who gets to work late, travel on a work trip or attend a networking event is almost comical. I moved some night lecturing to suit Jase who then promptly accepted another work commitment that clashed with my new dates. I was pretty unhappy (lol the mild description) and demanded that it was time we found someone local to help us. Well we are very happy with the sitter we found and she has her first night with the girls on Tuesday. I have never left them with anyone but family (besides daycare of course) and its a little scary but I am also relieved that we finally have some help when needed.

And that was a long update! Not sure if anyone but me will read this far :) but hey its recorded.

I have been offline a lot lately. My puddy cat, Ferdie passed away. He has been my companion for the last 13 years, bought for me when I moved out of home at 17 and saw me from a teen through my 20's into my 30's. He kept me company through long cold hours of uni study, was a member of our little family when I married Jase, moved to Queensland with me, reluctantly shared my side of the bed with two breastfeeding newborns and never failed to give my cuddles in the evenings with his beautiful purr. He was my beautiful velveteen rabbit, I loved patting his little velvet head. When I wrapped him up to bury him and realised that I would never get to pat that velvet patch ever again, my heart cracked a little. He died at home with me patting him and except for the last few hours of his life when he was slipping away, he never stopped purring as long as I was patting him. Oh how I miss him. I see him everywhere and my heart literally jumps with hope that he is back, then I realise it is just a shadow or a crumpled piece of clothing. The rest of my life will be that little bit lonelier for his loss.

My poor sick old boy

I am definitely feeling a little less tough than usual. Struggling to embrace all the hecticness of our life. In fact I have a terrible head cold and a stomach bug and am having my first sick day in work for years. Nice to rest but I need to pull it together, I have a lot to organise in the next two days as we are heading off on a road trip and then flying to Sydney for a child free weekend for a friends engagement party.

My girls are my balm. Elka was so brave and sad in the face of the loss of the cat she has followed around for the last 3.5yrs. Bronte is a bundle of cuteness and nearly-2yr-old attitude, who can make me laugh and shake my head.

We took them up on the big Brisbane wheel the other day. These photos make me smile.

Bronte likes to wear her sunglasses upside down, never fails to make me giggle

I am rejoicing in Autumn - love the chill in the air and being able to add more layers to my outfits.

I love simplicity and elegance. Nothing beats a simple top with a blazer. I picked a gorgeous navy and white stripe blazer that I am dying to wear.

Here is to classic dressing.

I don't really do spontaneity - at least not now with two little kids and a farm full of animals. But it is being thrust upon me. As of two minutes ago we had to pick a resort to spend the next two nights as we "have" to do a trip (long story). Its been a really stressful couple of weeks, I have barely seen Jase with the amount of work trips he has had, the kids are being particularly challenging and I had some major deadlines at work this week, which I nailed yay, so all in all, a family holiday away from the chores of the farm will do us well. So on top of a sale I need to hit tomorrow - poor Bronte has no warm clothes and the vet appointment I have for my horse (swollen lymph gland, minor lameness), I get to pack a million clothes, toys, food and head up the coast with the rest of SE Qld heading off on school holidays (arrgh!).

All I keep thinking about are all the things I needed to get done this weekend but I am doing my best to push all that away.

Holidaying with kids is not really relaxing as such but hey a change of location will be nice!

Starting the week off solo parenting and this made me smile which is always needed on those days. Any scientist will tell you that labs always have the obligatory cupboard on display of "old equipment" and generally an old black and white picture of old-school scientists working away. Nice but also a little cliche after awhile.

So this is gold - I would love to have this on the wall in my lab.


Rest of pics here thanks to catscientists.tumblr.com

I love cooking with my girls on the weekend. And today we still found time amongst the groceries, voting, dentist trips, mowing, craft projects, horse training and BBQs to cook a delicious cake for our dessert

We made a rosewater chocolate coconut cake. The base recipe is here and I used rosewater essence instead of coconut essence. Oh and we had to have bright green buttercream instead of chocolate buttercream... of course! I definitely recommend it - quick and easy, even with a Miss Almost-Two and Miss Almost-Four helping out.


We are smack bang in the middle of the craziness that is school term-work deadlines-house projects-horse competing but god I love it. I just love the buzz of not having a spare moment, of running on adrenaline and always planning and organising. Just the way I roll. Life is never dull and full of so much fun and surprises. And even better, wine tastes so much better on a Friday evening, I sleep wonderfully and I always manage to lose weight just from burning off calories from sheer exhaustion.

I am still adapting to being a school mum though - I have fridays off and I do drop Elka off and pick her up in "normal" school hours. But I stand out - the other mums all know each other from the daily school run (I see no one at 7.15am or 5.20pm on the other days so there is no one to meet) although to be honest, I don't have the inclination to hang around the classroom making small talk with mums that have all the time in the world on my one precious day off filled with errands and plans, or collar the teacher for literally hours discussing how to expand my child's phonics learning outside the classroom. They send home notes and expect you to cook/make/provide god knows what on two days notice. Not easy when you work late/travel interstate or just have no spare time that doesn't involve sacrificing your five meager hours of sleep. Elka is the only child in her class that hasn't got some elaborate "life story" document made yet for their display. I got photos printed the other day, so I am on my way. I guess I will get there....

I stressed and agonised today over making an Easter Bonnet for Elka's Easter parade. The note specifically asks you to make the bonnet. Damn, I had planned to cheat and buy something from the dress up section. I loathe craft and I just don't do creativity if it involves paper or glue and 3D structures like a hat made from a flat sheet of cardboard. I wont lie, I came close to just shoving the cardboard in the cupboard and sulking, but I persevered and despite Bronte managing to eat a paper mache egg on the sly, we all had fun and a bonnet was made. Everyone is banned from touching it as I have fears it won't last until Wednesday and I couldn't bare to have to do it again..

But I did it. There is hope for me yet!

Really sometimes you have to laugh rather than cry. I have had a rotten day. Reading an article that a fellow lovely working mother happened to share on facebook today really hit the spot and I have laughed (and eaten chocolate!)

The following article is from www.momswhoneedwine.com - find it here.

Let Me Tell You About the Life of a Working Mother

Though I think today my thoughts were even more hectic than this! A sample of my chaos today was having to work out at 6am how to stop my incontinent old cat going through liver failure from weeing on Bronte's bed constantly, arriving at work feeling relaxed and then after struggling through way too many emails remembering I had a stupid number of big deadlines at work and should be feeling anything but relaxed,  feeling rather put out about being gently ticked off for a frustrated email I sent, wondering why I stayed up until nearly midnight on Thursday night writing a work document when I then forgot to email it to work so I didn't have it for Monday anyway, discovering a document I had produced in response to an urgent request on my day off had been distributed with a major typo because I had been trying to convince a teething toddler to sleep whilst typing on my laptop trying to get it sent, trying to work out if my horses swollen lymph node is connected to his lameness in his hoof and if that is all from an abscess he had a couple of weeks ago and feeling bad that I only can check him at 5.30am or 6pm in the dark either way, reminding myself to book the horse float in for a roadworthy test and then worrying what will happen if it doesn't pass, trying to find a dentist that is actually open on a Friday after school to take Elka and organising how to get to Elka's school cross country, still drop Bronte off and then to the other side of the city to give a work presentation, pick up Jase's car and get back to work in enough time to reach all my deadlines. Oh and then finding out that the raincoat I finally found for Elka for school, after specifically checking with the uniform shop to determine that she could have any style, is apparently the wrong colour and I have to return to walking the shops to find blue or yellow, not the purple I bought. UUUURRGH.

If I hadn't drunk wine for the last three nights in a row, tonight would be a good candidate for pouring a glass or three.

Cheers to anyone who has had one of those types of Mondays!

you honestly have no idea what city he is in. Yep, he travels so much and I am so hectic with the kids, farm amd my job that we don't get to talk much, besides the frantic husband-wife dialogue of "Tomorrow is show and share day for Elka, Bronte needs new batteries for her hearing aids, can you pick up Elka next Tuesday...?", which translates to me often telling the girls "Daddy is on a work trip in.... um (insert a guessed city that I have heard mentioned in the last week)". Hmm wife fail.

Not only that but I struggle to recall what time his flights get in, but then there are so often delays that it wouldn't matter anyway, or so I have discovered.

But it all just works. We get everywhere, get the kids picked up,  get to school events, get to work dinners, night lectures and so on, and the place normally looks mowed and tidy. I would feel pretty damn organised, if friends didn't ask me where Jase is and I look blank and they look surprised!

This is my theme song at the moment  - it makes me feel alright about being alright about the craziness :)