Sunday, 16 January 2011

So I have a 2.5 year old who may as well be turning 13. She has Attitude. So much so that people who spend a fair bit of time with us actually comment on it. Elka has always been a precocious child - advanced in her development and too smart for her own good. And I promise you, I am not bragging. In fact I commented today how nice it was that Bronte has been much more "average" so far in the speed of her development. Unlike Elka who was walking at 9 months, had a great vocabulary by 12 months and using advanced concepts at 18 months. Now at 2.5 yrs old, she plays with 5 year olds if given the choice as they will converse with her and play make believe games and so on. All good and well of course, and I am planning my retirement based on her certain success in some wonderfully paid career (please read with heavy sarcasm, I have no plans to be an academic stage-Mum.... I am much more interested in pushing her endlessly in sports of my choice that I failed in ;) )

But seriously, I am finding her Terrible Twos (don't talk to me about the upcoming Terrifying Threes!) an interesting time. She can be a bit of a bully at playgroups etc and I do come home from some social occasions shuddering a little. She isn't a big tantrum chucker, she is more about the stealth warfare and embarrassingly picks on smaller weaker children. And not in big noticeable ways, more in that ostracising way, where she tells them they can't play or they have to go away. She once walked up to a little kid in a play area and just simply screamed into his face until he broke down and cried. It was horrible. She fortunately doesn't tend to try to hurt Bronte, but she does love to try and wake her up (thank Wiggles for that one!) and she will sing extremely loudly in the car as soon as she sees Bronte's eyes close.

And if I confront her about doing something wrong. I will often say "What did you do wrong?" To which I get back crossed arms, teenager attitude and a very sullen "Nothing". Yes really my two year old mutters "Nothing" at me. I was expecting that from her when she was thirteen.

We typically punish with 1,2,3 and consequence, ie taking away her Bunny comforter, turning off her favourite show or bringing her home from wherever she is. Mostly works... but she is pretty hard to intimidate! Typically if I say, "Elka, stop that or I will take Bunny", she will then throw him to the ground and say "well I don't want him anyway". Takes the wind out of my sails! Likewise, we had to give up on Time Out as she would just do the naughty thing and then put herself in Time Out afterwards quite happily.

But like all parents and toddlers, we win some, we lose some. And sometimes the sheer brashness and resistance to intimidation that Elka has, will just bring us unstuck and we will laugh and laugh.

The other day we were driving down to the Gold Coast in some heavy rain, we were about 20kms away when Elka started trying to wake Bronte up with deafening yelling. Jase warned her "You better stop that or I will stop this car and get you out and you can walk to the Gold Coast". Well there is silence from the back as Elka considers this and she then pipes up with a thoughtful "Well did you pack my umbrella?". I did my best but the giggles started.

And that is why we love toddlers even when we are ready to punt them over a mountain.

6 comments:

Margie said...

Wow, sounds like an interesting challenge for you. How old was she when she was toilet trained?

Amy said...

She toilet trained at 18 months, Margie and then regressed when I got pregnant and would only use the potty intermittently. She was what I considered "fully" toilet trained ie safe to take in a car in undies for a 40 min drive, a couple of months after she turned two...

Mel said...

She is amazing Amy! I fear that we'll have the same with Ashleigh. She is much more advanced than Liam at the same age, is already mimicing us and like Elka, uses stealth to get what she wants! My parents commented on it last time they were down - if she wants the toy that Liam is playing with, she'll go and play with his fave toy so that he leaves what he's playing with to take it off her, and she gets to play with the toy that she wanted all along.

So you can do all the hard work for me and tell me how you solve that one - cause I reckon we'll be there this time next year when Ashleigh is 2 1/2!!!

Lish said...

Sounds like a lot of hard work! Toddlers certainly are an interesting challenge aren't they. I'm finding Zoe to not be too bad - but I seem to have different challenges to you. Mainly that she is afraid of other children so it makes it extremely hard for me to go out or have play dates, etc. Hopefully she will grow out of it soon.

posie blogs Jennie McClelland said...

Your big girl sounds exactly like mine, all the same things, walking at 6 months (no kidding, she's now a state level athlete), amazing words & all those things like crawlling at 3-4 months with incredible strength, toilet trained at 18months etc, now she's starting high school. I'm glad i had 2 science degrees to answer her questions about spectrums (no, not just rainbows!!) & it never stopped. She finds it difficult to be a daughter & not the leader (she was house captain at school, they didn't have a school captain, but no doubt she would have been it) & i have to give her space. I love her to bits & can appreciate how amazing she is, but those frustrating days when she couldn't quite put into words what she wanted to say, spell, read, debate, they were full on. My son (number 4) is now 7 & beyond the boys in his class, even though he's the youngest, his enviornment of girls learning quickly rubbed off & he's just the same. It turns out they are all gifted academically. They are all very different & i find them fascinating. Good luck on your journey. All i care about is that they are polite, social & having fun, academics can wait for high school, friends are most important now. Love Posie

Amy said...

Mel - wow Ashleigh sounds like she is a clever little thing! That is so funny about drawing Liam to other toys! Hehe always here to discuss raising tricky girls :)

Alicia - I hope Zoe comes out of her shell for you soon. Poor little chicken - must be hard on both of you.

Posie - wow I am in awe of your kids. You must be very proud!

xox

About Me

My Photo
Amy
I am 30 years old, am a microbiologist with a PhD and love looking after my little farm. I compete in dressage and showjumping with my horses. I have a passion for shopping and a weakness for pretty clothes, shoes and handbags. My husband and I have a gorgeous toddler called Elka and a little bub named Bronte. I am a mother who works and has a career - just don't call me a "working mother". I don't do inside hobbies and craft and have only successfully sewn two things in my life that weren't ripped horserugs. The scientist in me makes me a little cynical and I am more likely to tell you about my life and events then give you a pretty polaroid style picture and an inspiring quote. Not for everyone but I have a bad memory and blogging is my way of recording life :)
View my complete profile

Blogs I Love

Followers

I'm a Blog This member
inspiring and connecting with Australian Bloggers.

Photobucket

Spech and I

Spech and I